Update: stupid spelling and grammer errors corrected.
2+2 is an internet magazine for serious poker players. Everything from which different poker establishments use which sets of rules to strategies for different games and rule sets.
They also have forums, which is where this horrifyingly funny conversation came from.
The 2 2 Forums: How many 5 year-olds......
Good drunken debate from a few nights ago.
The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?
The specifics:
- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.
- You are not allowed to touch a wall.
- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
- There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup.
* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of
the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take
you down.
I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more. How many could you take on?
Via Mimi Smartypants
Selected comments and questions:
---
Are you allowed to use one the kids to wield at other kids ala a sword?
It is not hard at all to swing them around and if so then i have a feeling you could just swing around in a little circle and knock them all out as they get close to you.
---
My friends and I were discussing something like this last night, [emphasis added - yes, guys do have conversations like this] and decided that if Barry Sanders was in the apartment and had from the back bedroom to the living room door (about 15 feet) of space to pick up speed, even if he was coming out of a doorway, there was no way the 8 of us there could expect to stop him from reaching the other side of the room even 15% of the time. I think my strength advantage over a 5 year old is huge in relation to Barry Sanders and me. Add this to the fact that I think I can take out 8-10 kids while they are trying to get into groups after being randomly dispersed across the gym, and I think 30 is a reasonable guess.
---
There is a peril with this strategy, though, and that is if you trip - you better get up quick.
It's not rocket science.
It would be an interesting world if this were rocket science.
---
I've had a long think about this. It's a difficult question but I think, yes, I could take a 5yr old.
---
