I don't like cats enough to want to live with them, but I don't hate them. In Are cats for true christians? the author describes why true Christians shouldn't own cats. I've extracted the key points and put them into a bulleted list so you don't have to read the entire 2800 word essay yourself.
First, of course, is that "...neither Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, faithful Job, the Apostles, Jesus nor any other human bearing God's favor himself owned a cat." And "...cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household."
The thing that saddens me is that there are only two items on the list that I haven't done (please keep your speculations to yourselves).
- coughing up fur balls
- licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies...[and] on the bodies of their human owners
- urination on the floor
- vocal and blatant promiscuity
- widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony
- substance abuse of catnip
- stealing food from the table
- producing ungodly sounds
- excessive playfulness
- the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus
What's a newly enlightened cat owner to do with their pet devil's spawn? According to the author it's OK to give your cat to an unbeliever, or to stone it to death.
Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath. Image from here
