RelentlesslyOptimistic

SOTU: What he said!

Obama said many things that needed to be said, and did it without demonizing those he disagreed with!

via The Daily What

Cute picture break: disdainful puppy does not like you

From A Creative Universe via ffffound.com

Satan to Pat Robertson: "I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher"

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I’m all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I’m no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth — glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven’t you seen “Crossroads”? Or “Damn Yankees”?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there’d be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox — that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it — I’m just saying: Not how I roll.

You’re doing great work, Pat, and I don’t want to clip your wings — just, come on, you’re making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That’s working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan.

    From the Minneapolis Star-Tribune via The Daily What. Image source.

Tampon practical jokes (SFW)

At least one of these is probably a teenage-boy tampon.

Via

Require Congress to get their coverage from the health care plan they pass

Congress needs to feel our pain on health care. Let's make the stakes a little more realistic.

End the luxurious health insurance plan that Congress has now, and instead require Senators and Representatives to get their health insurance through the plan that they pass!

That will give them a little bit more of a stake in broad changes, don't you think?

Image source

Pic of the day: Haiti's Presidential Palace before and after quake

You can contribute here.

Via The Daily What

If Sarah Palin believes it was "God's plan" that McCain chose her for VP...

Then she must believe that God wanted Obama to win the election, right? 

Lifted almost whole from WTF Is It Now?!? Image from here.

Dyslexic Goths Visit Satan

From Awkward Family Photos (title from this commenter) via The Daily What

Who would Jesus hate? Teabagger Founder combines faith and racism

Dale Robertson, the man who claims to be the "President and Founder of the Tea Party" (is he the one who didn't check Google before describing them as "teabaggers?") is shown in this picture from Gawker wearing a "Man of Faith" hat while carrying a hand-lettered sign that includes the N-word (misspelled, no less).

From Gawker via WTF Is It Now

Rude ATM

From MIKE JONE$$$' Flickr via Julia Segal

Diabetic supplies — Now With Free Sugar!

Via

Horrifying Product #74: Russian Roulette for parties

Party Roulette — now not just for kids!

Rumor has it that their next release is the Death Penalty Lethal Injection game.

Via

Duct tape really is eternal!

From the often hysterical There, I Fixed It