RelentlesslyOptimistic

I wonder if he's pawned it

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A big difference

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Can you tell the difference between a men's magazine and a rapist?

Quiz time: were the following quotes said by convicted rapists…or men’s magazines?

1. There’s a certain way you can tell that a girl wants to have sex … The way they dress, they flaunt themselves.

2. Some girls walk around in short-shorts … showing their body off . . . It just starts a man thinking that if he gets something like that, what can he do with it?

3. A girl may like anal sex because it makes her feel incredibly naughty and she likes feeling like a dirty slut. If this is the case, you can try all sorts of humiliating acts to help live out her filthy fantasy.

4. Mascara running down the cheeks means they’ve just been crying, and it was probably your fault . . . but you can cheer up the miserable beauty with a bit of the old in and out.

5. What burns me up sometimes about girls is dick-teasers. They lead a man on and then shut him off right there.

6. Filthy talk can be such a turn on for a girl … no one wants to be shagged by a mouse … A few compliments won’t do any harm either … ‘I bet you want it from behind you dirty whore’ …

7. You know girls in general are all right. But some of them are bitches … The bitches are the type that … need to have it stuffed to them hard and heavy.

8. Escorts … they know exactly how to turn a man on. I’ve given up on girlfriends. They don’t know how to satisfy me, but escorts do.

9. You’ll find most girls will be reluctant about going to bed with somebody or crawling in the back seat of a car … But you can usually seduce them, and they’ll do it willingly.

10. There’s nothing quite like a woman standing in the dock accused of murder in a sex game gone wrong … The possibility of murder does bring a certain frisson to the bedroom.

11. Girls ask for it by wearing these mini-skirts and hotpants … they’re just displaying their body … Whether they realise it or not they’re saying, ‘Hey, I’ve got a beautiful body, and it’s yours if you want it.’

12. You do not want to be caught red-handed … go and smash her on a park bench. That used to be my trick.

13. Some women are domineering, but I think it’s more or less the man who should put his foot down. The man is supposed to be the man. If he acts the man, the woman won’t be domineering.

14. I think if a law is passed, there should be a dress code … When girls dress in those short skirts and things like that, they’re just asking for it.

15. Girls love being tied up … it gives them the chance to be the helpless victim.

16. I think girls are like plasticine, if you warm them up you can do anything you want with them.

Answers. 1. Rapist, 2. Rapist, 3. Lad mag, 4. Lad mag, 5. Rapist, 6. Lad mag, 7. Rapist, 8. Lad mag, 9. Rapist, 10. Lad mag, 11. Rapist, 12. Lad mag, 13. Rapist, 14. Rapist, 15. Lad mag, 16. Lad mag

(University of Surrey)

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My penis is a dick

FWIW, most of them are.

via okay-me-too.tumblr.com

Here's an old pic of me

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Now this is just mean: Color Blind Clock

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Masturbating to Mary Tyler Moore

A pre-internet fetish group

Read the entire two-page solicitation at www.dangerousminds.net

Niche Market

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Best possible answer

via meagainstthem.com

No Boy Toys

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Christopher Robin's den

via thedailywh.at

Happy Spring from the guys

via warehousecomic.com

How men and women think, insect edition (SFW)

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Obviously this cloud is a male

From Certified Bullshit Technician

Celebrate Independence Day with firecracker prank videos!

Yes, it's completely irresponsible to promote playing pranks with firecrackers that could easily cause injury. But it's really funny!

Above you see the husband about to throw a few firecrackers behind his wife, who is playing with a gun.

All four videos available at Say No to Crack!.