RelentlesslyOptimistic

Celebrate Independence Day with firecracker prank videos!

Yes, it's completely irresponsible to promote playing pranks with firecrackers that could easily cause injury. But it's really funny!

Above you see the husband about to throw a few firecrackers behind his wife, who is playing with a gun.

All four videos available at Say No to Crack!.

Don't screw around with these

From For Your Entertainment

Minnesota wristwatches and hidden pube embers: Bad News Hughes – the best penis writing on the internet!

What women often don’t understand is how much fun it is to have a penis and scrotum, even aside from the sex part. Patrick Hughes' terrific storytelling at Bad News Hughes provides a glimpse into the joy of having a built-in play set.

"Anatol hasn’t always made such wise choices when deciding how to use his penis"

"I wanted nothing more than to use this fellow to test my theory that punching someone really, really hard on the balls can potentially flip their breaker switch, ideally resetting their personality to something more manageable"

"The victim...will have had a good dose of weiner molecules fly right into their eye by the time they figure it out"

"A second or two after removing his hands, the inrush of oxygen reignites a hidden pube ember"

Like all great artists, Patrick inspires others to stretch and grow – don’t miss the comments. If explaining why you're laughing will violate one or more of your company's policies, wait until you get home to visit this one.

"my sodium party has generated...interest from people not normally interested in chemistry"

Chemical reaction: take sodium, water and alcohol (implied). Result: Sodium Party!

Sodium is a dangerous metal that reacts explosively when it contacts water. As a result it's great fun. Theodore Gray, maker of wooden periodic tables, does it right: three and a half pounds of pure sodium, plenty of water nearby, a remote device to drop the sodium into the water, and a video camera to document the fun results.

Explosions! Big Explosions! Fire! Brimstone!* Butterflies! [emphasis added]

*Brimstone is actually sulfur, but the connotations were too rich to ignore, and there were sulfur butterflies, which should count for something. Via Good Morning Silicon Valley.

"Are you allowed to use one the kids to wield at other kids ala a sword?"

Update: stupid spelling and grammer errors corrected.
2+2 is an internet magazine for serious poker players. Everything from which different poker establishments use which sets of rules to strategies for different games and rule sets.

They also have forums, which is where this horrifyingly funny conversation came from.

The 2 2 Forums: How many 5 year-olds......
Good drunken debate from a few nights ago.

The question:  How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

• You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court.  There are no foreign objects.
• You are not allowed to touch a wall.
• When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."
• I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy Americans.
• The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.
• There is no protective padding for any combatant other than the standard-issue cup. 

* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

I set my magic number at 30, but upon reflection, I think I could take on a few more.  How many could you take on?

Via Mimi Smartypants

Camel Blogging: The Religious Policeman

Camels in society. I'm sad that I didn't discover this before, since he's stopped blogging, but The Religious Policeman lives and blogged in Saudi Arabia until recently. The linked entry is on camels, with good photos and a description of some of the societal aspects of camels, including:

"And then we go out there at evenings and weekends to spend quality time with our camel, to talk camels, drink coffee, gossip, and generally hang out. It's a Man Thing, naturally."

and

"I once suggested to Mrs A that I liked the idea of keeping a camel out at the Souk. She said "That's alright, if you'd rather spend your spare time out there with your camel and other men, rather than here at home with me and your family.""

Some things transcend culture.

Via Majikthise